I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
