If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
