I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
True strength comes from lack of pants
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
