I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
