He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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