he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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