just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
