you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just cropdusted the office
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
