"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's rum buckets o'clock
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize