Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize