I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
