I just made out with a guy for $7.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize