He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
