You work out of a Hotel?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When are your genitals available?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
