I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
