O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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