everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
foreskin is a definite game changer
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize