I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
