butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
