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Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
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