3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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