so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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