I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
