Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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