My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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