there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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