would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
