Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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