After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
