Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
