escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
