It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well you can't waste a boner
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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