What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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