so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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