Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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