Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
