Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
