He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
