we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize