My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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