**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
