But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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