I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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