Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
