I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
