the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
