sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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