So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
