i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
