i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i think im in europe. pls send help
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
