It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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