he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
pray to the hookup gods
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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