yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
