It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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