i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Duck Duck Cougar?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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