I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
be right there i have to get my cape
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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