I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
