I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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