she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
