You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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