I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
