I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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